Are We Raising Brides or Wives?

Think of any princess movie, chic flick, or romance novel. How does it end? More than likely it ends with either an engagement or a wedding. When we end reading or the book or watching the movie, we sigh because our emotions have been aroused and we feel "warm and fuzzy" inside. We have a momentary period of euphoria where all is right and good in this world.

And then, Honey walks in the door, sweaty and smelly from a hard day's word. He's tired and slightly grouchy, and that euphoric feeling dissipates. We may begin to compare our lives with those on TV, becoming discontent that our husbands are not always charming and good natured. His hair and clothes are not always perfect, and he is not entirely selfless.We want Prince Charming to walk in the door, sweep us off our feet, pay perfect attention to us, and never require us to be a wife (only a bride).

Society and entertainment have taught women that life's culminating moment is her own wedding. We have mistakenly taught girls to look and act fabulously so they can obtain a wedding (not a marriage). Girls have been taught that if they find the perfect man and have a perfect wedding, life will be lived "happily ever after." We have not taught girls the hard realities of life.

Weddings do not culminate your life; they only begin the next chapter. Real life starts, not ends, with a wedding. To be completely honest, one week after my wedding, I could remember very little of it. So much time, effort, money, and stress went into an event that was over in a matter of hours.

Now having a daughter of my own, I'm starting to think: do I want my daughter to get caught up in those fantasies that have ruined marriages across our nation? I am convinced that most marriages end in divorce because women are not getting the life they dreamed up as young girls. All of a sudden, Prince Charming starts disagreeing with them and stops hanging on their every word. They realize life is more about dishes and diapers than riches and romance. They quickly realize the life they have is not the life they had signed up for, so they bail out and try to start over.

I want to teach my daughter, not how to be a beautiful bride, but a wonderful wife. I want to be a Titus 2 woman, who will teach my daughter what it looks like to love my husband, to love my children, to be discreet, chaste, a homemaker, good, obedient to my husband. I do not want the Word of God to be blasphemed before her eyes (vv.4-5). I am striving to be a living example of the Proverbs 31 woman. I want our marriage to be an example of how to mutually love and respect each other; how to hold on tighter during tough times; and how to still be the apple of Eric's eye 40 years into marriage. I want her to know the difference between dressing attractively and dressing to attract. I want to teach her to be the right spouse, not find the right spouse. I want her to look forward to being married more than having a wedding.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates" (Prov. 31:30-31).