An Update on Our Lives

It's been a while since I posted anything on here, so I figured an update would be appropriate. This last year has been crazy between Eric getting promoted to working full-time for the church as, not just the Youth Pastor, but the assistant Pastor, and the adjustment to life with a little one.

Our sweet baby Alethia was born on April 9, 2013. To us, she was absolutely perfect. It hasn't been easy to adjust to life with a baby, but through God's grace, he has led us all the way! That little one is now thirteen months old; it's hard to believe that it went so fast, but it's been exciting to see her grow and develop. She is a sweetie, but definitely has an sin nature (for sure). She is starting to test her limits and find out how far she can actually take her new-found independence: walking.

Eric and I celebrated our two-year anniversary. It's hard to believe that two years has passed since we've said our vows and said good-bye to the college extension church I had grown to love.

I still miss the people and friendships at First Baptist of Hartford, but am very thankful for the church where Eric and I have been placed. There is a lot of stretching and learning that has taken place over
the last two years, and I cannot possibly imagine being in another church at this point. Our youth group is doing well, and while not really growing in numbers, the enthusiasm and participation in the classroom has gone up a lot, especially in the last few months. Pray for our teens. We have many who have made professions of faith as children, and now seem to just be doing "the Christian thing" rather than developing a true and thriving relationship with Christ. We are severely lacking in the male leadership department. In our split sessions last summer Eric taught the teen boys about leadership, and had one of the Seniors tell him that he had absolutely no desire to be a leader. It's sad, since he was one in which we saw HUGE leadership potential, and his decision has adversely effected him in more ways than I think he is able to realize at this point. Pray for us as we try to lead and teach them the importance of following after God. It's not about following rules or having high personal standards (neither of which are bad), but they are all getting distracted from the main thing: getting to know Christ, and developing a personal relationship with him.

What have I been up to? I'm a stay at home mom who takes care of Alethia and supports Eric in the ministry. On the side, I have taken up photography as a hobby. Last summer, a college acquaintance of mine (who as a photography business) was upgrading her camera and selling her old one. Eric decided that it was good option to pursue, especially for the great deal we received for it. I received it last July and have been learning a lot about photography and lighting since then. I'm excited about what I am learning, and am hoping to be able to set up an actually business soon.

This summer we are hoping to put in a vegetable garden at our house and finish beautifying our flower garden. I love fresh vegetables and look forward to working with my hands this summer, even though it's hard work that takes a lot of patience and effort. We are also looking forward to spending time with my family in June, as all of my siblings, their spouses, and their children are all going to be convening at my parents house for a reunion. We won't be able to stay long, but it'll be good to see everyone (and meet my new niece). Later this summer we will be going on vacation to St. Louis. Eric and I are very excited about that one, and look forward to getting to spend a whole week together as a family without the pressures and stress of the church ministry.

Well, I suppose this a long enough update to keep you all occupied until next time.
Nadine

Are We Raising Brides or Wives?

Think of any princess movie, chic flick, or romance novel. How does it end? More than likely it ends with either an engagement or a wedding. When we end reading or the book or watching the movie, we sigh because our emotions have been aroused and we feel "warm and fuzzy" inside. We have a momentary period of euphoria where all is right and good in this world.

And then, Honey walks in the door, sweaty and smelly from a hard day's word. He's tired and slightly grouchy, and that euphoric feeling dissipates. We may begin to compare our lives with those on TV, becoming discontent that our husbands are not always charming and good natured. His hair and clothes are not always perfect, and he is not entirely selfless.We want Prince Charming to walk in the door, sweep us off our feet, pay perfect attention to us, and never require us to be a wife (only a bride).

Society and entertainment have taught women that life's culminating moment is her own wedding. We have mistakenly taught girls to look and act fabulously so they can obtain a wedding (not a marriage). Girls have been taught that if they find the perfect man and have a perfect wedding, life will be lived "happily ever after." We have not taught girls the hard realities of life.

Weddings do not culminate your life; they only begin the next chapter. Real life starts, not ends, with a wedding. To be completely honest, one week after my wedding, I could remember very little of it. So much time, effort, money, and stress went into an event that was over in a matter of hours.

Now having a daughter of my own, I'm starting to think: do I want my daughter to get caught up in those fantasies that have ruined marriages across our nation? I am convinced that most marriages end in divorce because women are not getting the life they dreamed up as young girls. All of a sudden, Prince Charming starts disagreeing with them and stops hanging on their every word. They realize life is more about dishes and diapers than riches and romance. They quickly realize the life they have is not the life they had signed up for, so they bail out and try to start over.

I want to teach my daughter, not how to be a beautiful bride, but a wonderful wife. I want to be a Titus 2 woman, who will teach my daughter what it looks like to love my husband, to love my children, to be discreet, chaste, a homemaker, good, obedient to my husband. I do not want the Word of God to be blasphemed before her eyes (vv.4-5). I am striving to be a living example of the Proverbs 31 woman. I want our marriage to be an example of how to mutually love and respect each other; how to hold on tighter during tough times; and how to still be the apple of Eric's eye 40 years into marriage. I want her to know the difference between dressing attractively and dressing to attract. I want to teach her to be the right spouse, not find the right spouse. I want her to look forward to being married more than having a wedding.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates" (Prov. 31:30-31).

Message behind "Why I hate religion and love Jesus."

Although, I may not agree with everything he says (or some of his illustrations), I believe he makes a very valid point. Religion as a whole, just trying to paint up the outside to look godly, is not what Jesus came to die for. Jesus died to have a personal relationship with each one of us, declaring us righteous before God so that we can live for righteousness and not for sin. How liberating! I cannot,  in my own strength, conquer sin. It is only through the power of Jesus and the liberating power of Grace in our lives that we can hope to change. I hope you find this video a challenge to your own heart and life. It is rather lengthy, but I think it's worth the time to listen, evaluate, and think through. Was I saved to merely live a sinless life and follow rules? or was I saved to have a relationship with Jesus that will result in desiring to live a sinless life?

I'm Gunna Apply--music video

Watch this video and support my society, as well as learn a bit more about Maranatha!

I'm Gunna Apply from Maranatha Baptist Bible College on Vimeo.

"Are you a Horn Blower?" by Brian Trainer

Mr. Trainer spoke on pride yesterday in chapel and some of what he said hit me right in the eyes. I felt compelled to pass it on. After hearing this sermon, honestly ask yourself: "Am I a horn blower?"

How I Met Eric Hall

I suppose I should start back in High school, Junior High actually. I was in an all girls Sunday school class. Katie Kubiak (then Hobi) was the teacher. She encouraged us to make a list of attributes we wanted to find in our husbands and to pray for our future husband every day. I had a list of “ideals” then, so I prayed. Slowly, as time passed, my “ideals” turned to real requests. I prayed that the Lord would keep him pure. I prayed that the Lord would keep him free from the entanglements of this world. I prayed that he would have a heart to do what was right when everyone around was doing wrong. I prayed that he would have a sincere heart for ministry.

I kept praying for that man all through high school as I also developed my relationship with the Lord (which is still ongoing, mind you). Well, I went off to college and saw many guys around. I had a crush on one at the beginning of my freshman year, but he didn’t reciprocate. I was pretty downtrodden until I came across a passage of scripture one Sunday. I was in a New Testament Survey class and one of the assignments was to read through the entire New Testament. One Sunday I was reading the book of Titus when a list of character qualities jumped off the page. These were the characteristics of both the pastor and deacons. I quickly grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the qualities down: blameless, one-woman man, godly ruler, not selfish, not easily angered, not a drunkard, level-headed, just, holy, self-controlled, and able to hold his ground on doctrine. I knew that the Lord had called me into the ministry, so I prayed that God would give me a man fit for ministry as well.

It was during my sophomore year that I met Eric. Of course, at the time, I only knew his name and that he was dating a girl that used to be Mennonite. I knew he had worked with my brother Ben on night crew and was working on trash crew with one of my friends, but outside of those few things I didn’t know much of anything about him. Well, a week after Valentine’s Day, his girlfriend dumped him, so he didn’t have many friends to hang out with. He knew my friend Evan (from trash crew), so he would hang out with us. One day, Evan, my friend Leah, and I decided to ask Eric to join us in going to a Dramatic Productions Minor’s play “A Murder Is Announced” by Agatha Christi. Eric helped me avoid my “stalker” by sitting on one side of me while Leah sat on the other. It was during that play that we struck up a friendship. I thought him incredibly funny, kind, good-humored, and intelligent. I decided that night that he was a man that I would love to introduce to my family, church, and friends back home, but knew I would have to wait and see how things panned out.

A while later, Leah and Evan invited me to go to the park with them. I was very willing to go, but we needed an approved chaperone (basically any room or floor leader). Leah called her brother, but he wasn’t interested. I suggested Eric (he was a floor leader). That began a regular tradition of taking Thursday afternoon walks. We four enjoyed those so much. It was great just being four friends having a great time together. Well, time passed and slowly, our four-some became two two-somes. We were all still great friends, but we all knew the direction we were headed. One day in April, Eric told me that he wanted to date me, but he first wanted to meet my parents and ask them first. This further proved to me that he was a man of great character. We knew with him graduating that a long-distance relationship was inevitable. However, we sought the Lord and were certain that He wished us to be together. He met my family (and I met his) on the day before graduation, so that is when our dating relationship officially started.

Over the past one and a half years, the Lord has taught us much about love, communication, patience, and trust. We both have consistently sought the Lord and are confident that the Lord still wants us together. I could not have asked for a better man in my life. I could not have asked for a better friend to spend the rest of my life with. He may not have been the man I wanted back in eighth grade, but he is definitely the man I need to grow my faith in God and my love for ministry.

Putting Off Gossip

Proverbs 11:13--"A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter"
Proverbs 16:28--"A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends."
Proverbs 18:8--"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly."
Proverbs 20:19--"He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips."
Proverbs 26:20--"Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth."

Those who know scripture, know how God feels about gossip. We know that God hates it. We know that we ought not to do it. So, why do we? From these verses we see the destruction of a "talebearer" or "gossip." We see that they wound, they set emotions aflame, they sow strife, they destroy friendships. On the other hand, we see what happens when gossip is stopped:the fire goes out, the strife ceases. How tragic it is to see Christian people justifying gossip on the grounds of "I just want you to be informed." No, in actuality, you want me to listen to your gossip and start spreading slander about the person you are trying to "inform" me about. How disgusting that this has crept its way into the minds and hearts of believers--this thought that as long as we are talking about someone we don't know, it's okay to slander, it's okay to gossip, it's okay to believe the other side without hearing both sides.

The book of James deals with the matter of our tongue and it's destructive influences:
 "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
   How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water." (3:1-12, ESV)

It is amazing how much damage our speech can cause; it  is amazing how much we neglect to even think about the things that come out of our mouths. We see it's damage; we see how it is wrong, so let's do something about it! Remember those verses from Proverbs? "he that is faithful in spirit concealeth a matter." How neat would it be for one of us to be regarded as "faithful in spirit" because we know how to control our tongue to only speak what is edifying. I think the picture in 26:20 goes well with the illustration of fire in James 3: "Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth." If we want to stop the spread of the wildfire of gossip, stop being a gossip.

Now the Bible is choc full of illustrations of what is known as the "put off-put on" principle: "But that is not the way you learned Christ!—assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:20-24). Every day we are to put off the sins that "so easily beset us" (Heb. 12:1) and put on the new self, the self that is living to please God in everything.

So if we are to "put off" gossip, what are we to "put on"? The passage says true righteousness and holiness. A later verse answers the question more specifically: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace to the hearers." So, we are to "put off" corrupt speech (gossip, slander, lying, etc) and put on edifying, grace-filled speech. So what does that look like? I will tell you what it does not mean, but I will also tell you what it means.

It does not mean that we never say something when someone is doing wrong. I had a teacher tell me this once. I believe he was wrong on this. Of course, if you believe someone is doing wrong, you should tell them first, but if they will not listen to you, talk to someone who can do something about it. There is a difference between being a gossip and being a Christian concerned about the spiritual lives of others. The only time you should tell anyone about someone else it should be 1) to compliment the person, or 2) to ask advice (to a seasoned Christian) about what to do in situation x.

This does mean, however, that you stop spreading things you've heard about people. This is where the game of telephone illustrates well. One person starts with a message and by the end of the chain of people, the message is so twisted that it no longer is the same message. Gossip is so destructive. It tears down people's testimonies, ministries, etc. One piece of gossip started by an angry person can quickly turn into a wild fire that no one can calm. Soon, no one can tell fact from fiction, no one knows the "real story" because everyone has listened to the gossip and made judgment calls on people they don't know based on one-sided "evidence."

So, be cautious. Are you spreading gossip? Or are you speaking truth that will nurture and build up other believers. We must be careful that our well-intended remarks don't wander into the realm of destructive gossip. A quick and easy test for gossip is this: Are you part of the problem? Are you part of the solution? If the answer to either is yes, then deal accordingly with the issue. If the answer to either is no, then don't say anything and mind your own business.