Modesty: More than a Dress Standard

In today's world, men are bombarded with women dressing immodestly. More-so than that, women are acting immodestly. Some may ask, "acting immodestly?" Yes. Modesty involves more than just the clothes you wear. A teenage girl (or any woman for that matter) can dress in garb from head-to-toe, be "pinch-an-inch-able," and still be immodest in her actions. Solomon, in the book of Proverbs, spends three chapters warning his son against the "strange woman." Only once in those three chapters (5-7) does he address her clothing: "there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot" (7:10). The rest of the three chapters deal with her actions and attitudes. Each chapter describes her speech; chapter five describes her speech as a sweet honeycomb and smoother than oil. With that smooth, fair speech, she is able to flatter men in order that they might be more easily persuaded (6:24, 7:5,21). Chapter 5 tells us that she is movable: she is always changing her mind in regards to her opinions about people. She may like you at one moment and the next you're a piece of garbage in her eyes. Solomon warns his son to not "let her take thee with her eyelids." She was a seductress by the way she used her eyes (one of the smallest parts of your body). Another description of the "strange woman" is her loudness and stubbornness (7:11); she wants her way and no other way but hers. If a man refuses her, she will press harder until he gives in to her desires. In the same way, she is incredibly fickle. The "strange woman" of chapter 7 is married and discontent with her home life. She sought a joy-ride out of seducing young men while her husband was out of town.

However, Christian girls are not to dress or act in the ways of the "strange woman." Romans 12:2 teaches that believers are to be transformed by constant renewal of our thought processes through the reading of scripture. This is in contrast to "and be not conformed to this world." Instead of following the world's wisdom and advice in relation to men, we need to listen to what God says about the way we should act as new creatures in order that we "may prove [to the world] what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God."

What does that woman look like? Two passages of scripture (Proverbs 31 and I Timothy 2:9-10) tell us what a woman of God looks like. When God sees a virtuous woman, he sees her as priceless: "her price is far above rubies." Her focus in life is developing her relationship with God. The end of Proverbs 31 (verses 30-31) teach girls that the value of a woman comes not from what she wears, but Who she reveres: "favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." She is not to be puffed up or proud. Rather, she is to be humble and act out of reverence for God. Her actions, though aimed toward people, are motivated by her love for God. Paul addresses a similar issue in his letter to Timothy: "women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or costly array; But (which becometh women confessing godliness) with good works" (I Tim. 2:9-10).

One might say, "who cares how I act! It's my body and I can dress it up the way I want to, and I can behave the way I want. I'm my own person!" My reaction is similar to Paul's in I Corinthians 6:19-20: Are you crazy?!?! Don't you know that your body ultimately belongs to God? You're body (bought through the shed blood of Christ) is the temple (dwelling place) for the Holy Spirit! We are supposed to be glorifying God in our body and spirit because our body is not our own. Our body belongs to God.

Girls, I am exhorting you to (1) dress modestly. This does not mean you have to walk around dressing like the Amish. Just dress appropriately, keeping in mind that guys minds are radically different than ours. Please, please, PLEASE help our boys keep their thought life pure. They have a hard enough time with the way the women of this world dress; they shouldn't get that from their sisters in Christ. Second, girls, act modestly. Stop acting in ways that will seduce a guy into liking you. A man should not like you because he thinks you're attractive physically--he should find you attractive spiritually. Personal note here, it is so much nicer to be liked by a guy who likes me for who I am in Christ and for the spiritual growth I show in life than to be liked by a guy who likes me solely because he thinks I'm attractive physically (or "hot" as he put it--*gag*).

I am going to leave you with a sobering thought. Christ taught his followers, "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Girls, how many guys have committed adultery with YOU because of the way you have been dressing or acting? and do you care that they have???